Pinecones

Collected by Denise in 2009 each time she went for a run or had the urge to go look for pinecones. I never quite understood the reason behind gathering pinecones, or how much of an important part of the relationship it was for her.

Vintage Bicycles

I made this bike fort using bikes from childhood. The yellow bike was my first, and it has solid rubber tires (which i think is a great feature). I found that bicycles are remarkably easy to stack.

Eventually I added a stationary workout bike to this pile. Rodgey hated the the pile, and included it on his comprehensive list of grievances before I left home in January 2010.

Pez Dispensers

Growing up we collected pez dispensers to keep ourselves from thinking about how we had nothing better to do than collect pez dispensers. The plain dispenser is a noted favorite of mine. I ended up with 5 Mickey Mouse dispensers, which led to the short-lived musical group "The 5 Mickeys." This collection began in junior high, at a time when I kept starting collections that caused all the mothers of junior highers to hafta go out and buy yo-yos, then bubble accessories, then pez dispensers.

Patches

This jean jacket with patches all over it was constructed using an old jean jacket with patches all over it I had as a kid. Favorite patches include "180 game" celebrating my highest bowling game, "I heart Ohio" and Strongbad. Although I can't where the jacket in public with any dignity, it is a great piece to have in the closet and it quiets my soul.

Used Tires

Credit for this collection of 130,000 used tires goes to my dad Rodgey, who collected them from 1979 to 1982. He was paid $100 a dumptruck load to get rid of them for local tire shops. Soon, they became his retirement plan. The exacts of this plan I never quite figured out, but I know it included selling the tires to pavers.

Growing up these tires served as a playground/fort-building material for my brothers and I. I truly miss them. In 2005 th DNR removed them, after over a year of fining Rodgey $100 a day for contempt of court, due to his refusal to go to court.

Expired Beef Jerky

At the end of 2009 I purchased about 450 sticks of expired jerky at the reasonable price of $5.79 per 24 sticks. As I well know but you may not, Ihave a crush on expired anything. I love a perishable food item. My love of expired entrees is apparent in my history of taking any old foodstuff in as a mascot, and in my tendency to consume said entrees, especially if warned against them. What else is a warning but a sideways dare? As I’m writing this I’ll occasionally look over to my empty 7 lb can of chocolate pudding container, and beside that my empty 7 pound can of vanilla pudding container and beside that my face grinning back at both of them.

I began this year by traveling cross-country with only 450 sticks of beef jerky to my name. The jerky served several uses, as a high protein/high sodium power food, as a method of keeping myself awake (C’mon Dan’l, drive on through. Do it for the jerky), as occasional eveningwear, as a way to fill that jerky-shaped void in my van, as an inflammatory, and as an anti-inflammatory. After five days of driving and 63 pieces of jerky, I made it to California.

Some months ago the jerky ran out. Which I had not expected. I’m of the school that if you purchase over 400 of anything, you should be good for life. This has been the case with socks. Not so with delicious straight-from-the-discount-freight-salvage-grocer jerky. My blood pressure dropped, as did my hopes of ever seeing that much expired jerky in one floorboard again.

Then a local miracle. I found a piece of teriyaki I’d overlooked in previous whole-van searches for stray sticks. It was in the circular hollow where a spare tire might ride in other contexts. It no longer tasted like teriyaki, but had decayed into something like a feint barbeque. And not a high-end barbeque sauce. A sauce that someone tries to play off by saying “Really it tastes better than KC Masterpiece if you use it on the grill.” I am of course referring to Cattleman’s, which I have long suspected of actually being ketchup with just a little bit of catsup thrown in to keep folks off the trail. I ate the last piece of jerky unceremoniously, vowing to make it special should I ever find the last piece of jerky again. I kept finding the last piece of jerky. Slid up in the passenger side visor, inside a glove in my glove compartment, underneath another piece jerky that I’d also suspected to be the last piece of jerky.

The above image was intended to push the boundaries between sexuality and consumption. After purchasing $72 worth of expired jerky, attempted erotic pics seemed like the next logical step. It's always important to roll in your winnings.

Jokers

This was an ambitious collection. Over the course of two years I gathered jokers from every deck of cards I encountered, inconveniencing people better than I ever had before. When I finished, I had an entire deck of jokers (52 plus two jokers).

Family members began to blame me anytime a deck turned up missing its jokers. Rightfully so, I'd tell them. Many jokers were donated, including Hooter's Jokers, Pig Jokers, Polka dot Jokers, University of Arkansas Jokers, and many more!